Allen Roland
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Allen Roland

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This reflection is entitled...

Seeing My Life as a Quest ~ Not a Struggle

"And from delight are all things born and to delight shall all things return:"
- Taittiriya Upanishad III.6

I have always seen my life as a quest versus a struggle ~ a quest to return to the original joy and delight I knew as a child.

A quest to own and share something I deeply felt as a young boy ~ a deep feeling of love, joy and delight as well as the knowledge of something that I longed to eventually share with the world.

A great secret that everyone knows ~ if they will but fully surrender to love .

But first I had to survive my childhood Rite Of Passage which was filled with adventure and self-discovery.

Of course, there was heartache too ~ but the joy was so much deeper.

I had to survive ( like some of us ) mothers who smoked and drank while they carried us .

Baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paint.

Wearing no seat belts or air bags when riding in an automobile.

Drinking water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

Sharing soft drinks with all my friends ~ from one bottle and we all lived .

Eating cupcakes, bread and peanut butter and drinking vanilla cokes but never getting overweight because we were always playing outside.

Leaving home in the morning and playing all day and only coming back when the streetlights came on.

No one could reach me all day and that was O.K. ~ the earth still turned and everything was fine.

I would spend hours with my friends building go-carts out of scraps of wood and baby carriage tires and then ride them down steep hills . We would crash many times but we all survived.

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and our imaginations soared with each contest ~ at times I was Ted Williams or Junior Stephens of the Red Sox and in the fall Charley Conerly or Sam Huff of the New York Giants . .

We had fun!

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little league had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment . Imagine that !

We wore no helmets when we rode our bikes nor face masks when I played High School football ~ and we played both offense and defense.

I did not have playstations, Nintendos, X-boxes, nor video games. As a matter of fact, as a very young child there was no TV but I did have an active imagination that could turn our backyard barn into a pirate ship, an enemy outpost, a calvary fort or a haunted house depending on what movie we last saw.

I read voraciously ~ devouring each eagerly awaited Hardy Boy adventure. Jack London's Call Of The wild was my childhood wake-up call. I dreamed of California and sensed my destiny would lead me to the Golden Gate bridge.

I wanted to be a fighter pilot and dreamed of dog fights in the sky or flying high above the earth and clouds.

I was alive and I imagined great feats and accomplishments.

We had no personal computers, no internet or chat rooms but we had lots of friends ~ and we went outside and found them.

My generation has produced some of the best risk takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

We had freedom, failure, success, and responsibility and we learned how to deal with it all.

From this cherished and active childhood I have found the courage to live my dreams ~ first as a Navy fighter pilot flying supersonic jets on the USS Ranger and eventually moving to San Francisco and my precognitive rendezvous with the Golden Gate Bridge.

It was there that I fully yielded to love ~ embracing and giving a voice to a young child within myself who knew a great secret and eventually found the courage to share it with the world.

The secret is this ~ the basic underlying and uniting force of the Universe is a psychic energy field of love and soul consciousness ( The Unified Field ) which lies not only beyond time and space but ALSO beneath our deepest fears.

Yes, deepest within us all is a state of joy, delight and loving consciousness that not only connects us to each other but to all of nature and the Universe.

My life, as such, has been a quest to return to that same delight and deep truth I knew as a young child and then share it with the world as I'm sharing it now with you .

Is that not our common universal quest?


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Allen Roland, Ph.D
PO Box 4094
Antioch, California 94531, USA
Phone 707-935-1908
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