This reflection is entitled...
On Finding the Holy Grail
The path of the grail is the path of love. To find it you must fully surrender to the power of love ~ for it is far greater than the striving ambitions and protective strategies of our small , fear driven egos .And then, and only then, will you realize, as I do, that you have become a fragment of life's heart : Allen L Roland
As a very young child I experienced the Holy Grail ~ for I was in a state of Soul Consciousness.
I knew I was loved, I knew I was special and I knew that the love, joy and delight deepest within myself connected me to everything I saw around me ~ especially my beloved Grandfather who was a 33rd degree Mason and loved me deeply.
When I was taken away from him at six years old, my heart closed and fear and pain overrode my early experience of the Grail and my original state of soul consciousness.
At eight years old I was sent, without my twin, to an Episcopal summer camp in the Maine woods ~ Camp O-AT-KA.
It was there in this very same chapel, that was literally part of the woods, that I learned of the quest for the Holy Grail and King Arthur and the Knights of the Roundtable.
It was also there that I reconnected to source through the beauty and power of nature ~ Mother Earth. Yes, it was there that my wounded soul healed and I was ready for my own quest for the Holy Grail ~ not realizing,of course, that it was already deepest within myself, buried beneath pain.
Many years later, after being a Navy fighter pilot and a successful stockbroker, I finally fully opened my heart and momentarily broke beyond the self imposed walls of my protective ego ~ allowing myself to fully feel the love and joy buried deepest within myself ( the Holy Grail ).
Of course, I externalized it , tried to possess it and eventually lost it ~ coming face to face with my deepest fear and pain in the process.
It was then that I truly began my inner quest for the Grail for I faced my pain, connected it to that child within myself and vowed that I would always listen to my inner voice, inner direction and follow the path of love.
The path of love is an inner path but its tests are always revealed in relationship ~ as mine indeed were. It was the ultimate YES to myself and it eventually reconnected me to a universal loving plan that had always been saying yes to me ~ but now I was listening, responding and no longer controlled by fear.
These words by the renowned Jesuit priest Teilhard de Chardin, another church rebel, were my internal guide ~ Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them for it alone takes them and joins them to what is deepest within themselves.
In 1979 I wrote my UNIFIED FIELD THEORY ~ The basic underlying and uniting force of the universe is a psychic energy field of love and soul consciousness( the Unified Field ) which lies not only beyond time and space but also beneath our deepest fears.
It was then that my mother sent me a gift ~ a gold tiepin from my deceased grandfather which I took to a jeweler with the intention of turning it into a ring ~ a ring I now proudly wear. The jeweler smiled and told me "This tiepin was a ring that was made into a tiepin."
Of course, the tiepin was originally my grandfather 's 33rd degree Masonic ring with the inner inscription DEUS MEUMQUE JUS ~ which can be translated many ways. The literal meaning is GOD AND MY RIGHT but I prefer the hidden meaning GOD IS MY PATH or better yet and certainly more appropriate tome LOVE IS MY PATH.
A path that my grandfather had also been on ~ but now I had spiritually joined him by being linked through the gift of his spirit and ring.
Yes, the most precious gift my grandfather gave me as a child was the full honest, joyful and loving expression of himself which is the same gift I have given my children and grandchildren.
And this is exactly what I do in my practice as a therapist where I jump start people's hearts, in just seven sessions, and help them realize that what they have always been looking for is deepest within themselves.The gift I give them is really the love, truth, joy , and delight of myself ~ the same gift my grandfather gave me.
And that gift is the Divine Feminine .
Which brings me to the current worldwide best seller The DA VINCI CODE~ which really is, in essence, a love story...... a love story that the Catholic church can no longer ignore or deny if it is to survive.
Starting with the great ( and long suppressed ) love story of Jesus and Mary Magdalene ~ Saunieire 's ( a 33rd degree grand mason ) love for his granddaughter Sophie ~ and finally Robert, whose heart has been touched by Sophie , falling on his knees and surrendering to the power of the divine feminine ~ all of these examples are manifested in the last lines of the book ; Robert Langdon fell to his knees . For a moment , he though the heard a woman's voice ... the wisdom of the ages .. whispering up from the chasms of the earth.
Most men fight the divine feminine within themselves but Jesus totally surrendered to it in his relationship with Mary Magdalene and in the process of fully opening his heart ~ surrendered to himself and the divine feminine ~ which is also a state of soul consciousness ( the Unified field ).
All men are capable of this ~ which is why love is the threshold to another level of consciousness.
This is why Teilhard de Chardin wrote ~ Woman stands before man as the lure and symbol of the world . He cannot embrace her except by himself growing, in his turn, to a world scale.
That is the grail ~ a consummation with the Universe through love.
Teilhard eloquently speaks of it in the terms of evolution ; In this sense, man can only attain woman by consummating a union with the universe.Love is a sacred reserve of energy; it is like the blood of spiritual evolution.
And there you have it ~ the Holy Grail, the Chalice , is a love which Jesus completely surrendered to, in his relationship with Mary Magdalene,and in the process not only claimed his own divinity but became a forerunner for a state of consciousness all of us will eventually surrender to ~which is why we have never forgotten him.
The loving relationship of Jesus and Mary Magdalene completely humanizes Jesus, takes him off the unreachable pedestal the Catholic Church put him on ~ and makes him finally accessible to the world through love and Relationship.
As such it also places women , ( the divine feminine ) as symbolized by Mary Magdalene, in their rightful place at the right of God ~ and certainly on more than equal footing with men.
Teilhard said it beautifully ~ The only right love is that between couples whose passion leads them both, one through the other, to a higher possession of their being ..... Union, the true upward union in the spirit, ends by establishing the elements it dominates in their own perfection.
Of course, the church will have nothing to do with this and is already mounting an offensive and advising its followers not to see the film version of The DA VINCI CODE ~ which will be released within the next few weeks.
The last thing the catholic church wants to accept is Jesus in a profoundly loving and sexual relationship, if not marriage, with Mary Magdalene.
The church would much prefer to see and utilize, as they have for centuries,a solitary divine Jesus on the cross ~ betrayed by his followers and a martyr for the sins of the world.
But it's too late ~ the die is cast and the Catholic Church will not survive if they continue to deny the reality and divinity of Mary Magdalene and the Divine Feminine ~ a force of love and illumination that not only completes man but rescues him from his solitary external quest for something deepest within himself.
In the not too distant future ancient scrolls and gospels will be uncovered,if they haven't been already, which will reveal the validity of the profound love relationship between Jesus and Mary Magdalene ~ and the male dominated spiritual hierarchy of the Catholic church will collapse under the weight of its own hypocrisy.
The spiritual bloodline of Jesus and Mary Magdalene is relationship and by fully opening our hearts, as Jesus and Mary did, we not only come face to face with our deepest fears but also set the stage to fully embrace our equally divine selves.
As such, the path of the grail is the path of love.
And then, and only then, will you realize, as I do, that you have become a fragment of life's heart.